Sleepless

I hate this feeling that I have right now. Its a mixture of heartburn, heartache, exhaustion and insomnia. I went to bed earlier and I managed to sleep restlessly for about half an hour. I was waking him up with my every move. I decided to be honest with myself and realize that sleep is not in the cards for me for the next few hours. I tried to busy myself by reading other blogs but I could not focus. My life is focused on me right now and I hate it. I can't think about anything except how anxious, upset, crushed, afraid and frantic I feel on the inside.

I can't even imagine the emotions that he must be feeling. He claims that he is in the detachment and withdrawal phase but I know that I am not. I just want to hold onto him and never let go. Not being able to sleep and needing to busy myself to ease the pain tears me out of our bed. I would rather be lying peacefully next to him but I am just so emotionally uncomfortable. Lets hope that this night is the worst one and that can peacefully snuggle my man for the next few nights before the army gets to take him away from me. The army may think its winning right now... but the mere months that they get him right now are nothing compared to the lifetime that I will spend with him.

Dreaming of the sandy beach, and me walking towards you in my sophisticated and elegant wedding dress. I just can't wait until our days are simpler and we can focus on the simple things in life like wedding plans.


Life.Army.Love